Blog #2

1.
(a)"Act Like a Man Box":
An idea or a new perspective that I had while reading this article was that I've thought of how men have rules that they have to conform to in society. "Behing the bravura they are often confused, scared, angry, and wanting closeness with others." Wow, talk about interesting- thanks Kivel for that eye-opening quote. I guess in a way they have to conform like we do 24-7 too. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not justifying when they act like assholes, and I mean some, but it makes sense when you see that they kind of have too. They can't be "fags", or "sissys" by society's standards. The pressure that they have is constant, and I would believe that more violent than ours.

(c)"Patriarchy, The System"
What I didn't really understand about the reading by Johnson, was that is Patriarchy recognizing or not recognizing womens oppression? What I think I got from the reading was that we're all responsible for our actions and that if one doesn't change then there is no change in society. So is Patriarchy an ideology that men and womens roles are different in society, and that if we want to change these ideas then we all have to change as a whole?

(a)"Wanted: Men who Love" - Bell Hooks Ch.1
Hooks perspective on why we long for men's love was really interesting. It made sense when she said that we all long for love, in some shape or form. I think that her explanation can justify why women stay with men who are abusive. If women are longing for a man to love her and if any little that they recieve keeps them there, then I would understand why a women would stay with an abusive man, because she is longing for that love. I won't say that everyone needs a man love to be content with herself, because its not true. But it goes the same way for a man. Men want to be loved and since society is constantly telling them to hush and not show their feeling then it seems like a circle that we keep going roung and round. I loved when Bell Hooks said that we constantly ask me to talk about there feelings and as soon as they do it, we want them to shut up. SO then what is it that we want from men?? I know I do the same thing too.


(a)"Understanding Patriarchy" - Bell Hooks Ch.2
What I got from Hooks reading was that Patriarchy is to blame for societies ideas of what men and women should do. Bell Hooks writes, "Clearly we cannot dismantle a system as long as we engage in collective denial about its impact on our lives." We as a society deny a lot of oppression in both men and women. If we cannot recognize that we all suffer in this patriarchal system, then how we will ever change. Some feminists are to blame for thinking that men are at fault for everything, and I believe that we as women are to blame for some things too. The first step is to recognize and take responsibilites, and then we can change for the better. As Hooks puts it, Patriarchy as a system has denied males access to full emotional well-being [lives].

2.
How these readings relate to my life would be in the aspects of old relationship. When I was with him, I always wanted to feel loved and I wanted him to say it. I guess I felt that he had to say it to reassure me that he did love me. There were times were he would say really shitty things to me and in a way it was a form of abusive. There came times when he said that he would even hit me if he found out certain things about me or if I had lied or cheated. Why did I stay with him for so long? Because I wanted to be loved. I felt the need to be validated by a man who in no way, shape or form could express himself because of the way he was brought up.
Now within out relationship, I remember I would ask him to tell me how hie day went, and oh man I wish I had never asked. I guess what Hooks says is very true. I wanted him to share his feelings, but as soon as he did I wanted him to shut the hell up. As a women I can say that I do things like this all the time. I'm still trying to find a way to change this mentality.